


Herding Birds (And Bats)

by HuiLian



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Big Brother Dick Grayson, Christmas, Fluff, Gen, batfam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 23:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17171384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HuiLian/pseuds/HuiLian
Summary: It was not even December, and here Dick was, knocking on Jason’s safehouse.He came to Jason first, because the week when Dick normally started to call, text, and generally badger his siblings to come home for Christmas Jason might not even be on Earth. So, Dick had to get to him while he was still, thankfully, in Gotham.





	Herding Birds (And Bats)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpaceNightwing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceNightwing/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, SpaceNightwing! Hope you enjoy this!

It was not even December, and here Dick was, knocking on Jason’s safehouse.

He came to Jason first, because the week when Dick normally started to call, text, and generally badger his siblings to come home for Christmas Jason might not even be on _Earth_. So, Dick had to get to him while he was still, thankfully, in Gotham.

“Jay! Jay, open up!”

Nothing. Well, Dick was not going to be deterred by that. He _knew_ for sure that Jason was at this place; he saw him coming in a few minutes ago himself. He just had to knock harder.

“JAY! If you don’t open this door right now, _those_ photos will come out right this instant!” Thank god Dick kept the photos of a lanky, awkward, barely thirteen-year-old Jason. It was very, very useful to him now.

“What, Dickface?” Dick found himself staring up to Jason’s face. God, he was so big now, wasn’t he? He was taller than Dick, now.

“Yearly reminder to come to the Manor for Christmas.” Dick very carefully did not say ‘home’. Jason would never go if he called it home.

“No.”

“Yes. You don’t want to disappoint Alfred, do you?”

Jason’s eyes squinted. Dick knew he played the Alfred card every year, but to be honest, it worked every year, so who was he to question it?  And the old butler truly _would_ be disappointed if Jason didn’t show up for Christmas.

“Come on. You can even choose, Christmas Eve dinner or Christmas Morning breakfast. You don’t even have to talk to Bruce if you don’t want to.  I promise you’ll still get your presents.”

Jason sighed. “Fine. But it’s only for Alfred, you hear?”

“Yeah, Jay. Just come, okay?”

Jason closed the door. Dick had to make sure that he reminded Jason again two weeks before, three days before, and the morning of. Oh well. If that’s what it takes.

***

The next one Dick came to was Tim. He did not just come to Tim, he came to Conner, Bart, and Cassie too. He even bribed Tam Fox with an assortment of coffee and toffee to keep Tim’s schedule for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day clear.

He did not actually have to talk to Tim. Between the four of them, they were sure to have Tim in hand. But he wanted to talk to Tim. It has been ages since Dick actually have a conversation with Tim.

“Timmy!”

“Hey, Dick.” Tim did not even look up from his laptop.

“Just wanted to remind you, you still have to come to the Manor on the 24th and the 25th.”

“Okay.” Still not looking up from the laptop. This requires drastic measures.

“Also, my clothes are on fire.” No, that’s not drastic enough. Not for this family, anyway. Think, Dick, think. Ah, of course.  “And Damian is messing with your tablet.”

“Okay.” Silence. Dick was content to wait. Tim was bound to notice sooner or later. “Wait, Damian is messing with my tablet?” Bingo. Finally, Dick got him to look up from his laptop.

“For someone who managed to outsmart Ra’s Al Ghul, you’re really out of it, aren’t you Tim?”

“Is Damian messing with my tablet or not?” Tim was looking around the room, as if he was expecting Damian suddenly pop up with a ruined tablet. Which, Dick had to give to Tim, Damian would probably do if he was actually here.

Dick decided to save Tim from his misery. “I don’t even bring him here, Tim”

“Oh, okay.” Back to the laptop. At least now Dick got him to listen. Even if it’s only with half an ear.

“You still have to come to the Manor for Christmas though.”

“Ugh. Do I have to?” Tim threw his head back. Right now, he did not look like a CEO of Wayne Enterprises; he did not look like the fearsome Red Robin. Tim looked like an eighteen-year-old kid sulking at being forced to go to a family meeting.

“Yes.” Dick resist the urge to ruffle Tim’s hair.

“Fine. Alfie will make that pudding I like, right?”

Dick wrinkled his nose. “Only you liked that pudding, Tim.”

“But he’ll make it, right?”

“Maybe you should ask him yourself.”

Tim tilted his head, as if the idea of it was unthinkable.

“Come on. Ditch the office for a while, Tim. Let’s take my bike to the Manor. Harass Alfie for a bit.” Dick gave in to the urge to ruffle Tim’s hair. It was longer than usual. Tim was due for a haircut.

What. What the hell, mind. Oh god. He was turning into Bruce.

Tim saved him from his sudden terror-filled realization by saying, “Okay.”

“Okay? Just like that?”

“You know I can’t resist riding your bike, Dick.” Tim smiled his shit-eating grin.

“Hey! I didn’t say you’re going to be riding it!”

“So why am I holding the key?” Tim held the key up in his hands, taunting him. Damn, the kid is getting good at this. Dick didn’t even realize he was being pick-pocketed. Then he ran towards the elevator.

“Tim!” Dick chased after him.

In the end, Dick was just this shade of faster than Tim. He was taller, after all. And not wearing dress shoes.

They spent the entire ride to the Manor laughing at each other. It was a good day. (It was the best interaction they’ve had in a while.)

***

Dick knew he couldn’t change Cass’ mind if she didn’t want to go to the Manor for Christmas, but he liked asking her anyway.

“Cass?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you coming to the Manor for Christmas?”

Cass looked down and adopted the ‘thinking’ pose, with one hand on her chin and another crossed on her chest. Dick knew then that Cass would come. Cass was teasing him, which means that she would come. At least, Dick hoped she would come.

Cass spent a few seconds in that pose, then said, “Yes.”

Even though Dick had guessed that she would be coming, it was good to have it confirmed.

“I’ll see you there, then?”

Cass nodded.

“Don’t come covered in mud and other… more questionable things again, though.”

“It was one time!” Cass cried out in indignation.

“Sure, Cass. Sure.” Then Dick ran out of the room before Cass could tackle him to the ground. The fact that he made it out meant that Cass let him got out, which means that Dick had to be careful of a prank for him in the future.

Well. What’s one more prank, right?

***

_Do you and the old man want to come to the Manor for Christmas?_

_No, sorry. We have our own thing. Thanks for the invite though._

_Sure thing, Babs. Have fun._

***

_Jay, don’t forget. Christmas at the Manor in a three days._

_-_

_Jay._

_-_

_Jay, I’m serious._

_-_

_I’m telling Alfred._

_Fine, I’m coming. Don’t be a dick._

***

It was a spur of the moment thing, Dick inviting Steph to the Manor for Christmas. They were patrolling together, in one of the rare moments that Dick patrol Gotham now. Nightwing and Spoiler make a good team, much like Batman and Batgirl. And Dick was hit with the sudden realization that this girl had been as much a sister to him as Cass.

“Hey, Spoiler?”

“Yeah, N?”

“You have anything to do Christmas Eve?” As much a sister she was to Dick, and to Cass and Damian, and whatever she was to Tim now, Steph had a family of her own outside of the Bats. If she wanted to spend Christmas with her mother, Dick could hardly begrudge her that. God knows the rest of them didn’t have the chance to spend Christmas with their mothers.

“No, not really. Mom has a shift that night. Holiday nights, better pay, you know.” Steph shrugged, like she didn’t particularly care. But this was Steph. Steph loves celebrations. There’s no way that she didn’t care about celebrating Christmas. Plus, Spoiler’s mask only covers the bottom part of her face. Dick could see her eyes.

(In hindsight, it was not a good tactical decision to have masks that didn’t cover the eyes. But Dick wore a leotard for the first five years of crime fighting. Like all the Titans and Babs like to tell him, he didn’t have a leg to stand on good tactical decision regarding costumes.)

“You want to go to the Manor?”

“For real?”

“For real.”

“Who’s cooking?”

“Agent A, of course. Put the rest of us in the kitchen and the Manor will burn down.”

“Point.”

“So, coming?” Dick wished she would come. Dick _really_ wished she would come.

“Sure.” Steph smiled. Dick smiled back. It was always good to have more people at the Manor for Christmas.

***

Dick didn’t have to call or badger Damian into coming. He was already living in the Manor. Alfred will make sure he was on the Manor on Christmas.

***

Now, for the man of the hour himself. Bruce Wayne. Dick didn’t have to make sure Bruce was in Gotham. However, he still had a job to do. Bruce _still_ wants to go patrolling on Christmas Eve.

“B! It’s Christmas Eve!”

“So?”

“So you should be at home, celebrating Christmas with your family!”

A grunt.

Okay then. Thankfully Dick had done this dance for years now, he knew what to do.

“Fine, go patrol if you want. But the cave is already in lockdown, and I have locked you out of every safehouse you own for tonight,” Dick said flippantly. He was confident he got every single safehouse. After all, Alfie helped him lock B out.

Another grunt.

“Admit defeat, B.”

A sigh. Dick knew it meant that he had won. He smiled.

“Come on, everybody is already waiting in the dining room.”

***

“Give that back!”

“Nu-uh, short stack. If you want it, you take it.”

“Can you guys shut up!”

“Oh, Timmy is pissed. He’s pissed, Steph. Whatever should we do?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Jay. Maybe we should show everyone these photos, it could make him loosen up a bit.”

(Jay? When did Steph become so familiar with Jason?)

“Photos, you say, Brown?”

“Ugh. Kill me now.”

Even before they got into the dining room, Dick could hear the arguing that ensues inside it. Bruce looked at him. Dick looked back.

“It’s your kids. You’re the one who decided to keep adopting more kids.” Dick pointed out.

“They all keep coming,” Bruce grumbled.

“Come on, old man. What’s the worst they can do?” Oh no. The moment that word went out of his mouth, Dick wished he could take it back. The worse his siblings could do was very bad indeed.

An explosion went out inside the dining room. Bruce glared at Dick as if saying, see? Dick sighed. What even could they use inside the dining room to create an explosion?

“The worst they can do is level Gotham to the ground,” Bruce said under his breath. Dick wished it didn’t come to that.

“Well, let’s hope they haven’t destroyed the dining room. It’s not even 8pm yet.”

Bruce didn’t reply. He stared at the door as if the door was the weapon that would be used to execute him.

Time to bite the bullet, Dick guessed. He opened the door.

All in all, it was not the worst it could be. Not one plate or silverware or item was out of place. The ones out of place were his siblings.

Cass was perching on the tallest cabinet. If she stood up, her head would touch the ceiling. As disapproving as he was, Dick was quietly proud of her for being able to climb that high.

Damian, on the other hand, was stuck on the ground. Literally. His shoes were abandoned in one place, while his socks were in another, and he himself was stuck on another place. The glue seemed to be… mashed potatoes? How?

Jason was wrestling with Tim on the ground, but miraculously they managed to steer clear of any breakable objects in the room. There were scorch marks around them. Must be from the earlier explosion, Dick thought.

Steph was standing on the table, steering clear of Tim and Jason, while mixing something with the food already on the plate. Wait. Was that how they managed to create an explosion?

Why were his siblings like this? All Dick wanted was a normal dinner where they could be a family together. Dick sighed, then shouted, “HEY! Cut it out, all of you!”

All heads turned towards him. “Christmas is a time to be together, guys.” Here he paused and glared at each and every one of his siblings.  “Whatever ‘together’ I can get out of this dysfunctional group I’ll take.”

“This _is_ being together, Dickface. Are we not in the same room?”

Dick was about to retort when a voice came from the kitchen. “Master Jason, please refrain from speaking profanities again. And do get up from the floor. It is unbecoming of you.” Jason’s expression changed so fast it would have been comical, had Dick not been so grateful that Alfred was here. “Master Tim, you too. Get up from the floor. As for you, Miss Cassandra, come down from the cabinet, please. Cabinets are not for sitting.” Cass smiled sheepishly and quickly climbed down. “Miss Stephanie, do kindly dispose of the chemical in your hand. I believe it is an exploding hazard.” Steph stopped in her tracks. “Last but not least, Master Damian, try sliding of it, instead of lifting your foot.”

“It doesn’t work!”

“Then kindly be patient. I will return with a dissolver.” Alfred put the pie he was holding when he came in on the table and promptly went out again. Nobody dared to move when Alfred was out, except for Bruce. Bruce walked towards the head of the table, sat down, and put his face in his hands.

Dick spoke up. “I hope you’re all happy now. You all pissed off Alfie.”

“No profanities, please, Master Dick. Master Damian, here is the dissolver. Drip a few drops into that… concoction and you should be fine.”

Damian grabbed the dissolver and made quick work of the glue sticking him to the floor. Otherwise, nobody moved.

“Well? Are we having dinner or not?” Alfred raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Dick said. “All of you, sit down.” Nobody moved. When they were not asked to move, they all wreck havoc. But when they _were_ asked to move, nobody moved. Typical. “ _Sit down_ , all of you!”

Bruce chose that moment to say, “Sit down.” Dick was beginning to feel happy that at least someone was on his side when he realized Bruce’s error. Bruce spoke in the Batman voice.

See, the Batman voice worked well in the field, but outside of it? Not so much. They all even made a point of doing the opposite of what Bruce said. Dick took a deep breath.

Pandemonium ensued.

***

All in all, it was not the worse Christmas Eve dinner they have had. At least this year nobody was hospitalized.

**Author's Note:**

> check out my tumblr- if it hasn't evaporated yet (huilian.tumblr.com)


End file.
